Note from the Trenches of Mom-hood
A note from the trenches of parenting 3 boys, four and under:
I have read a lot of parenting books in the past two years . . . ALOT. In Danny Silk's book, Loving Your Kids on Purpose, (highly recommend by the way) he talks about prioritizing connection. This is something that is really easy to agree with while you are reading it and very difficult to implement when your child is hurling insults at you while you are cooking them breakfast because you asked them to put on their underwear for the fifth time that morning. Parenting with connection instead of fear and control is one of the hardest most courageous things you can do. It requires surrendering self-reliance and allowing the Holy Spirit to invade all of your natural instincts and respond to what your child is really needing . . . you.
This morning I found myself in the above scenario and I was struggling to keep it together. Because I have failed in this response moment so many times before, I knew that I had a choice. Punish him with my words for making my morning so difficult or draw near to him in his distress. I dropped down and said, "Do you know how much I love you? More than there is blue in the sky, more than all the lava in volcanoes" and he helped me come up with a few more examples. His ENTIRE demeanor changed and so did the trajectory of our day. Reflecting the Father's heart in our parenting means that while our kids are still in their sin, we move toward them. I hope this encourages someone today. Invite God into your parenting!
P.S. The child in the above scenario lost TV time and had to do some chores because of his behavior and unkind words. Parenting from connection does not mean being a doormat without boundaries.
P.S.P.S. Typing these 300 words took like an hour this morning to complete because I had to intervene with a sibling fight, change a diaper, etc.
Kate is the mom of three boys under the age of 4. If ever there was a mom in the trenches, it’s Kate. She studied education and is constantly looking for ways to increase her parenting skills. She lives in San Marcos, Texas with her husband Cole.