Digging Deep

I am your daughter, a child of the Light,

And I have danced your dances, savored your Word,

have loved because You love,

Selah.


So when you carried me to a new place and asked me to jump,

I trusted and obeyed.

It was a bigger leap than I’d expected.

Still, you gave assurances with words like “deeper”

and “purpose.”


But now I realize that what you call “deep” I call “dark

and in this low place I struggle to stand.

My only choice is to stay down on my knees,

Humbled.


My sisters of Light bring encouragement from above shouting,

“It’ll be okay! You can do it! I’ll pray for you!”


But what could they possibly know about life in a pit,

they who radiate with faces full while I dodge shadows

for just a sliver of your glory?


Because you see, your perspective changes from down here.

The walls are real, the dirt is palpable, and each handful of doubt

that falls on your head can bury you alive.


Is this it?

Did I hear you right?

Is this hole really for me?

I don’t understand.

If you called me to this, shouldn’t it be easier?

Where are you?

Am I alone down here?


I don’t know what to do,

I’m not even sure who I am anymore.

I need help, I need direction, I need strength,

but most of all, I need a drink -

Living Water, I. Am. Thirsty.


Now something shifts.


It’s not so much that I can see you, as it is that I can feel you,

in fact, I’m beginning to sense your Presence in every particle

of dirt and difficulty surrounding me.

Within the hard I find Hope

and I open my mouth wide to drink you in.


No, I am not alone, you are here,

and you are Helper, you are Teacher, you are Life!

This is where I belong, for now,

as I realize that what I have called “buried”

you call “planted.”


I soften, I swell, and old things begin breaking away.

I am refreshed, but I still want more, yes Lord, MORE!

You ground me in truth but lift me by grace,

and the deeper I dig, the taller I become!


Firmly rooted, the weight of burden is

no match for the transformation taking place,

because your light shines into my darkness and it won’t be overcome!

With you, I break through!


Yes, rains do come in their season along with the promise of fruit

because with you Lord, there will always be fruit,

so I hold on.


As you shape me, pull me, reveal things to me, I know that I grow.

It is you who draws forth my color, my design, my true self.

It is you bearing fruit through my life,

so I stand.


I stand before you, my Great I AM,

as you rejoice over me with singing and declare that

I can. I will. I am YOURS...


...and I FLOURISH!


Julie Jacobsen

Julie Jacobsen

Julie happily resides in Wimberley with her husband, Dave, two of their four children, and a handsome rescue dog named Obi. She loves creative collaboration and seeing God sneak through the back door of people’s hearts through the arts – ALL of the arts. She enjoys connecting with people over coffee dates and attending or hosting dinner parties. These days you can find her sitting with a laptop more than a paintbrush, though she treasures partnering with God through both.